The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
If you have worked and didn't get anything, it means someone else got it.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
Being an ugly girl is like being a man......you have to work
Salary is like a period – you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week.