I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I am probably single....because i didnt forward those chain messages in 2008
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Whenever i have a headache,i take two asprins and keep away the children,like the bottle says
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
I'm selling a parachute – just as new, used only one time, didn't open once.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader.