Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!
I really lack the words to compliment myself today.
Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.
If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I'd compete in it later.
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath.
What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.
He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed.