sarcastic quotes page 6

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 99 character

Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.


, 36 character

You're so fat, you could sell shade.


, 97 character

Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...


, 55 character

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.


, 70 character

If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.


, 116 character

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.


, 64 character

Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.


, 58 character

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.


, 57 character

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.


, 94 character

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage.