sarcastic quotes page 5

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 44 character

Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.


, 69 character

A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly.


, 70 character

I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.


, 47 character

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


, 86 character

I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it.


, 132 character

Boy : I have a pen you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities. Girl : I have a sandal you have a face. Think of Casualties.


, 54 character

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!


, 69 character

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.


, 69 character

The light at the end of the tunnel – are the front lights of a train.


, 61 character

I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.