Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.
A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly.
I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it.
Boy : I have a pen you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities. Girl : I have a sandal you have a face. Think of Casualties.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
The light at the end of the tunnel – are the front lights of a train.
I'm really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.