sarcastic quotes page 3

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 74 character

If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.

      

, 70 character

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

      

, 69 character

As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free...

      

, 103 character

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right—I feel ten years older already.

      

, 74 character

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

      

, 97 character

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really...

      

, 45 character

I found out about you from my last nightmare.

      

, 52 character

Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?

      

, 96 character

Scooters are for men who want to ride motorcycles, but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas.

      

, 101 character

The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth.

      
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