rude quotes page 4

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 82 character

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

      

, 46 character

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart.

      

, 122 character

Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job.

      

, 103 character

Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.

      

, 126 character

There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can't drive a car and start behaving illogically.

      

, 31 character

I'm blonde. What's your excuse?

      

, 115 character

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

      

, 26 character

Are your parents siblings?

      

, 55 character

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?

      

, 90 character

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

      
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