You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I don't think you act stupid, I'm sure it's the real thing.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic!
How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now.