retirement quotes page 2

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 88 character

Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.

      

, 114 character

Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles "how to read a book".

      

, 99 character

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.

      

, 102 character

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

      

, 81 character

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

      

, 121 character

Girl: My GrandFather Lived For 96 Years & He Never Used Glasses. Boy: Yeah I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle.

      

, 85 character

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.

      

, 78 character

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine.

      

, 103 character

Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful.

      

, 124 character

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

      
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