men quotes page 2

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 93 character

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.

      

, 62 character

Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.

      

, 107 character

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

      

, 101 character

Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile.

      

, 94 character

For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis.

      

, 83 character

What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!

      

, 56 character

What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.

      

, 127 character

I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it.

      

, 107 character

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist

      

, 148 character

What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most.

      
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