Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.
My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Marriage is the main reason for divorce.
My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion.
Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes.