Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.
You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet!
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!