god quotes page 1

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 106 character

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


, 103 character

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.


, 146 character

Deja Vu – When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.


, 73 character

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?


, 60 character

Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!


, 73 character

Why did God create the orgasm? So women can moan even when they're happy.


, 96 character

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.


, 88 character

Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


, 87 character

God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.


, 72 character

Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

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