Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.
You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you.
Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid).
You have enough fat to make another human.