dirty quotes page 9

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 109 character

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.


, 81 character

Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money.


, 36 character

FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.


, 130 character

I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.


, 123 character

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.


, 60 character

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.


, 112 character

Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.


, 57 character

Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!


, 64 character

You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.


, 88 character

If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my penis, would you suck the poison out?