dirty quotes page 7

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 58 character

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.


, 94 character

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


, 48 character

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.


, 99 character

I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.


, 55 character

Blind man walks into a bar... And a table, and a chair.


, 107 character

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.


, 61 character

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


, 63 character

Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.


, 75 character

Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,


, 61 character

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.