dirty quotes page 3

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 71 character

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.


, 97 character

When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this."


, 140 character

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".


, 89 character

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.


, 76 character

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.


, 98 character

The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass.


, 60 character

Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.


, 45 character

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.


, 37 character

I'm as bored as a slut on her period.


, 52 character

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Cindrella?

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