How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
Why are women like KFC? After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.