dirty quotes page 12

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 79 character

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.


, 68 character

Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual.


, 131 character

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?' I said ‘No, six should be enough.'


, 67 character

Those days I only knew six words if you count muther fucker as two.


, 85 character

If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco.


, 60 character

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.


, 60 character

Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs.


, 60 character

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.


, 104 character

How do you tell if a chick's too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.


, 60 character

Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him.