I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Don't drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
I work to buy a car to go to work.
My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.