Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.
No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
Heading out for drinks, bail money's on top of the fridge.
If you see me with a water bottle, there's probably vodka in it
Don't forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems.
The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.
Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her.
Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.